Emotions

Poems‎ > ‎

# Title

22—My bed

21—Out-trovert, In-trovert

20—Laugh at Myself

19—All Pride

18—Messy Desk

17—Desired Delusion

16—Life in a Movie

15—Listen Well

14—The Vase

13—Love Disappointed

12—Life happens…

11—Nothing

10—Enough Time

9—Good Grief

8—You be you; I’ll be me

7—Shame

6—Good-Bye

5—Losing Loved Ones

4—One Hour at a Time

3—Wavering

2—My Night-watchman

1—Mood Escape

# 22

My bed

Can someone please explain to me—

why, every night, I loathe going to bed

but every morning, I don’t want to get out of it?

gratefulsue

4/8/20

# 21

Out-trovert, In-trovert

All my feelings must come out

so I feel real and honest

All your feelings must stay in

so you feel safe and happy

Out-trovert, In-trovert

Honest or happy?

Are you really?

Just the outside is happy,

What’s happening inside?

Are you happy because prison is safe?

No one can hurt you

No one can know you

Not even you. Is that safe?

gratefulsue

10.4.19

©gratefulsue 2019

# 20

Laugh at Myself

Laugh at myself. Go ahead.

It’s okay. In fact, it’s good!

It’s not cynicism; it’s medicine, modeling.

I’m practicing perspective.

Consuming happiness.

Not taking myself so seriously.

Laugh at my own jokes! It’s not egotistical.

I’ll get a break from the struggle.

Maybe I’ll make you smile... maybe not.

Life can be rough, so change the tone.

Maybe I’ll convince you...

Don’t take yourself so seriously.

gratefulsue

9.23.18

# 19

All Pride

I’m the best

You’re the worst

I’m sorry (not really)

I’m always right

That’s not my fault

I’m not going to overlook this

I’m not going to flex

Well, duh

(I’m smarter than you)

I’m not surprised

I told you so

I already knew that

What did I tell you?

I don’t need any help

I’m fine

gratefulsue

6/19/13, Revised 2019

# 18

Messy Desk

Messy desk—a reflection of my life

Where did the day go?

Evening’s yet unfinished projects

Things I’ve started (in my head)

Piles of bills and have-to-do’s, home maintenance

Life at the mercy of poor administration

Reminders, lists, calls for help

Information, explanation, contemplation

Schedules, Tickets, decisions

See you soon! Plans, duties, desires

Computer records, receipts

1,000 Word documents, excel charts, emails and more emails

Things to tell the kids, or ask

Don’t forget, send a text or call soon

Stacks of dreams and want-to-do’s

Wish I could. Can I?

Cursed clock—external and internal

Where’s the time, energy, mindset, wisdom, breath?

Alarm clock—time for bed

Pray, be patient

Press “restart”

Tomorrow, pick up where I left off

Messy desk—a reflection of my life

Make (a) little progress

Where did the day go?

gratefulsue

11/10/18

# 17

Desired Delusion

They are so annoying.

So young, attractive, healthy, cool...

these newbie adults.

I envy them. I once was “them.”

So busy with fun things.

Places to go, people to “hang” with.

Trips and independence.

Drummed up importance.

(“Can’t I come with you?

Am I really so old?”

“Mom, are you kidding?”)

...the unspoken, understood conversation.

“May I treat you to lunch?”

“Sure! How ‘bout tomorrow?”

Ahhh, success! A ticket to fraternity.

Bribes, in exchange for delusion.

gratefulsue

11.13.17

# 16

Life in a Movie

Life in a movie—the colors! The sounds!

Stunning videography and intimacy abound.

The orchestra plays, the camera zooms in

The dream is attained—and everyone wins!

All in the theater are drunk with the wish

That each of our lives would be happy like this.

A plot twist emerges... we all hold our breath.

Hearts break with fear that the dream met its death.

But wait, here’s a new twist—hope saves the day!

Strange providence, luck, with persistence, finds a way!

All sigh with relief. Dry eyes swell with tears.

Hearts burst with joy as we bury our fears.

Such drive deep within us—such longing! The kind

That ne’r goes away ‘til satisfaction it finds.

Our crying for purpose, for meaning and worth

Is freely received with spiritual new birth. ^1.

What joy! ^2. Forgiveness! ^3. What love! ^4. And rest! ^5.

To each newborn child, God gives the very best. ^6.

Yet, e’en with new life, that drive never dies.

Honesty says, we all still have heart cries...

Opportunity and purpose—for some bold great task

Which will for posterity and eternity last.

1. John 1:12-13, 3:1-17

2. Psalm 28:6-7

3. Acts 10:39-43

4. Romans 8:32

5. Matthew 11:28-29

6. Romans 8:28-32

gratefulsue

3/5/17

# 15

Listen Well

Alas! She no longer speaks—

Whose words were what

her child might seek,

For comfort sought,

or, courage wrought,

with sore desire.

Now, listen well to memory’s store—

Of wisdom, kindness,

faith and more,

From she who complied

to the Lord, and died,

yet, may still inspire!

gratefulsue

9/3/16

(for Terry’s children)

# 14

The Vase

Shattered.

Memories and warm emotions on the floor.

A million pieces of a moment in time,

enshrined in a beautiful vase,

now gone.

Loss.

No longer a visual invitation for reflection,

merriment, consolation, even joy,

is waiting to greet me when I open the

cabinet door.

Tears.

“I’m really sorry!”

Lies.

“It’s okay. No big deal.”

Truth.

“You are more important than a vase.”

Sacrifice.

White lies. A reign on my tongue.

Choosing reconciliation, healing, truth.

Relationship over ensconced personal, pleasant,

mementos of the past.

God.

“...If anyone... does not hate ... his own life also,

he cannot be My disciple.” ^1.

1. Luke 14:26

gratefulsue

7/15/15

(for Amarie)

# 13

Love Disappointed

Disappointments abound. Time spent together, not found. Pieces of heart, on the ground.

Words unsaid have fallen, dead. Their place stands empty, instead. Regrets of lead.

Cynical thoughts to spare, from wish to silent prayer, answers are not there.

Make it all right...stop the inner fight. End this constant night, with just a little light.

Would You explain why? Help me not cry? Heal my pained sigh?

Couldn’t You change this? Restore bliss? Rewind time? Undo what’s mine?

What’s next, I can’t see. Could You surprise me? Perhaps, make peace be?

If You do hear, could You please draw near? Satisfy my quest. Give my spirit rest.

Things can’t stay the same. I know why I came. You’re the sounding board, all I can afford.

Still the waves that toss. Mend this endless loss. I will come away, accepting of a new day.

Bitter memories lie in shallow graves of pain. Gracious blossoms grow with fertile soil, and rain.

Forever lost, my innocence. The past, like a fence. Chances to give, my recompense.

Get over this disaster. Leave failed expectations, faster. Heal by selfless love and laughter.

gratefulsue

1/4/13

revised 3/11/13

Thoughts about an absent father. (My father was not absent.)

# 12

Life happens…

Tired. Empty.

Beaten. Broken.

Pessimistic--

I have spoken.

Pure in heart,

once was I.

Cynical now,

spiritually dry.

Prayerful. Pleading.

Hope, so needing.

In faith, walking,

Blindfolded, bleeding.

gratefulsue

5/19/12

# 11

Nothing

Present mist.

Creative nothing.

Misplaced list.

Lacking something.

Conflicts. Chores.

Purpose? Vision?

Mental wars.

Drive? Ambition?

Not here,

Not there,

Not known.

Not clear.

Fuzzy,

Sleepy,

Fuddled,

Weepy.

gratefulsue

5/16/12

# 10

Enough Time

(a song)

There was not enough time,

To say “I love you.”

Not enough time

To be with you.

There was not enough time,

To feel your arm in mine.

That’s how love feels,

That’s how it goes—

When you love someone

Your heart always knows.

Time is never enough

To let it end this way!

This world is fading,

Passing by.

Though it has some pleasures,

I know that I

Will be ready to go—

Ready to be with you!

Then, there’ll be enough time…

To say, “I love you.”

Be enough time,

Just to be with you.

There will be enough time

To feel your arm in mine.

gratefulsue

8/23/08

# 9

Good Grief

Don’t be alarmed

that you are sad,

or, have regrets.

I’m not surprised

at your concern—

you loved, I bet!

Those who lose

but did not love,

have not lost much.

Those who loved

and have lost

are by grief touched.

Better to love

than not to know

how joy grows!

gratefulsue

Begun in 2008

Completed 1/21/12

# 8

You be you; I’ll be me.

a RIGHT to be free:

to love, to dance and sing—

God has given me these.

Don’t steal them, please.

a LIFE for living…

investing, giving—

My brief TIME in the sun

will soon be done.

You have these THREE, also

yet different, and good—

Too much control

Takes its toll.

What a challenge. My plea:

you be YOU, not ME.

gratefulsue

8/27/05

# 7

Shame

“…Shall never be put to shame?” ^1.

Once I trust in Jesus’ name?

In this world it is absurd—

To claim that verse I heard!

Crucified! Burned alive!

Saints long ago have not survived.

Their honor stolen, hope snuffed out—

As Satan’s henchmen strut about.

Laughed at, some disowned,

Verbal floggings I have known,

All the saints die all day long.

“Sheep to slaughter”—right or wrong. ^2.

But, one day, shame shall speak no more…

When morning dawns on Heaven’s shore.

I’ll see His face! Of scorn—there’s no trace.

“Faithful servant,” “take thy honored place…” ^{3., 4.}

1. Peter 2:6b, Psalm 34:5

2. Romans 8:36

3. Matt. 25:21

4. John 12:26 and Rev. 19:9

gratefulsue

7/18/04

# 6

Goodbye

“Goodbye” is a bitter word—

So difficult to swallow.

To say, “I’ll see you soon”

Or, “Keep in touch” sounds hollow.

How can we tear apart two hearts

Now melted into one?

How can we make it through the day

Without our favored one?

The cup of love I filled for you

Must be spent on another.

But, that’s all right, because you know,

Jesus left His "dad" to love others.

gratefulsue

12/16/01

# 5

Losing Loved Ones

The loss of loved ones helps us see

That time on earth goes fast.

No time to store up “earthly treasures,” ^1.

Rather—those that last.

“Saved by grace through faith” alone ^2.

In Jesus: God the Son—

The message we must tell the world,

Before our time is done.

May God’s own Spirit and His Word

Help you o’er times of grief,

And give you courage to proclaim

The words of life and peace.

1. Matthew 6:19-02

2. Ephesians 2:8-9

gratefulsue

9/2/98

# 4

One Hour at a Time

Too sleepy to get up

And get dressed

Too overwhelmed to

Tackle this mess.

Too sad about

Estranged family

And missing the ones

Too far to go see.

Too hard to get going

Lord, my heart cries

While little ones come

With expectant eyes.

Yes, I can handle

One minute or two—

One hour at a time—

As I look to You.

gratefulsue

12/26/00

# 3

Wavering

(a song)

I will trust in You, Lord.

Not because it is easy, but it’s right—

Please forgive me for wavering tonight—

I need Your light!

You are a God who is faithful and true,

Caring and patient in all that you do.

So, why won’t I simply rest easy in You?

Steadfast allegiance is long overdue!

I will trust in You, Lord.

Not because it is easy, but it’s right—

Please forgive me for wavering tonight—

I need Your light!

gratefulsue

7/22/82

# 2

My Night-Watchman

(a song)

If Jesus protects me by day,

Shows me the way,

Helps me to pray,

Then surely, He’s with me by night,

Calming my fright,

Holding me tight.

Jesus promised once I’m His,

He will never leave me! ^1.

His Word, so dear, says,

“Love casts out fear.” ^2.

So, heart—be still!

Trust in His will.

1. Hebrews 13:5

2. 1 John 4:18

gratefulsue

10/10/79

# 1

Mood Escape

Two worlds exist all of the time

Either can be a dwelling sublime.

Yet one, far better to my tender heart—

The world of imagination and art.

The place of stark reality

Can often lead to melancholy.

Hard work, illness, departures, arrivals—

Mechanisms of survival.

Quietly, I plan my escape:

Just find the music, the time, “Don’t be late!”

Turn on the concert of mind’s desire—

A mood, a wish, a soft chair by the fire.

gratefulsue

1/12/85