# Title 22—My bed 21—Out-trovert, In-trovert 20—Laugh at Myself 19—All Pride 18—Messy Desk 17—Desired Delusion 16—Life in a Movie 15—Listen Well 14—The Vase 13—Love Disappointed 12—Life happens… 11—Nothing 10—Enough Time 9—Good Grief 8—You be you; I’ll be me 7—Shame 6—Good-Bye 5—Losing Loved Ones 4—One Hour at a Time 3—Wavering 2—My Night-watchman 1—Mood Escape # 22 My bed
Can someone please explain to me— why, every night, I loathe going to bed but every morning, I don’t want to get out of it?
gratefulsue 4/8/20 © 2020 gratefulsue # 21 Out-trovert, In-trovert
All my feelings must come out so I feel real and honest
All your feelings must stay in so you feel safe and happy
Out-trovert, In-trovert Honest or happy? Are you really?
Just the outside is happy, What’s happening inside? Are you happy because prison is safe?
No one can hurt you No one can know you Not even you. Is that safe?
gratefulsue 10.4.19 ©gratefulsue 2019 # 20 Laugh at Myself
Laugh at myself. Go ahead. It’s okay. In fact, it’s good! It’s not cynicism; it’s medicine, modeling.
I’m practicing perspective. Consuming happiness. Not taking myself so seriously.
Laugh at my own jokes! It’s not egotistical. I’ll get a break from the struggle. Maybe I’ll make you smile... maybe not.
Life can be rough, so change the tone. Maybe I’ll convince you... Don’t take yourself so seriously.
gratefulsue 9.23.18 © 2019 gratefulsue # 19 All Pride
I’m the best You’re the worst I’m sorry (not really) I’m always right That’s not my fault I’m not going to overlook this I’m not going to flex Well, duh (I’m smarter than you) I’m not surprised I told you so I already knew that What did I tell you? I don’t need any help I’m fine
gratefulsue 6/19/13, Revised 2019
© 2019 gratefulsue # 18 Messy Desk
Messy desk—a reflection of my life Where did the day go? Evening’s yet unfinished projects Things I’ve started (in my head) Piles of bills and have-to-do’s, home maintenance Life at the mercy of poor administration Reminders, lists, calls for help Information, explanation, contemplation Schedules, Tickets, decisions See you soon! Plans, duties, desires Computer records, receipts 1,000 Word documents, excel charts, emails and more emails Things to tell the kids, or ask Don’t forget, send a text or call soon Stacks of dreams and want-to-do’s Wish I could. Can I? Cursed clock—external and internal Where’s the time, energy, mindset, wisdom, breath? Alarm clock—time for bed Pray, be patient Press “restart” Tomorrow, pick up where I left off Messy desk—a reflection of my life Make (a) little progress Where did the day go?
gratefulsue 11/10/18
© 2019 gratefulsue # 17 Desired Delusion
They are so annoying. So young, attractive, healthy, cool... these newbie adults.
I envy them. I once was “them.”
So busy with fun things. Places to go, people to “hang” with. Trips and independence.
Drummed up importance.
(“Can’t I come with you? Am I really so old?” “Mom, are you kidding?”)
...the unspoken, understood conversation.
“May I treat you to lunch?” “Sure! How ‘bout tomorrow?” Ahhh, success! A ticket to fraternity.
Bribes, in exchange for delusion.
gratefulsue 11.13.17 © 2018 gratefulsue
# 16 Life in a Movie
Life in a movie—the colors! The sounds! Stunning videography and intimacy abound.
The orchestra plays, the camera zooms in The dream is attained—and everyone wins!
All in the theater are drunk with the wish That each of our lives would be happy like this.
A plot twist emerges... we all hold our breath. Hearts break with fear that the dream met its death.
But wait, here’s a new twist—hope saves the day! Strange providence, luck, with persistence, finds a way!
All sigh with relief. Dry eyes swell with tears. Hearts burst with joy as we bury our fears.
Such drive deep within us—such longing! The kind That ne’r goes away ‘til satisfaction it finds.
Our crying for purpose, for meaning and worth Is freely received with spiritual new birth. 1.
What joy! 2. Forgiveness! 3. What love! 4. And rest! 5. To each newborn child, God gives the very best. 6.
Yet, e’en with new life, that drive never dies. Honesty says, we all still have heart cries...
Opportunity and purpose—for some bold great task Which will for posterity and eternity last.
1. John 1:12-13, 3:1-17 2. Psalm 28:6-7 3. Acts 10:39-43 4. Romans 8:32 5. Matthew 11:28-29 6. Romans 8:28-32
gratefulsue 3/5/17
© 2017 gratefulsue # 15 Listen Well
Alas! She no longer speaks— Whose words were what her child might seek, For comfort sought, or, courage wrought, with sore desire.
Now, listen well to memory’s store— Of wisdom, kindness, faith and more, From she who complied to the Lord, and died, yet, may still inspire!
gratefulsue 9/3/16 © 2017 gratefulsue (for Terry’s children) # 14 The Vase
Shattered. Memories and warm emotions on the floor. A million pieces of a moment in time, enshrined in a beautiful vase, now gone.
Loss. No longer a visual invitation for reflection, merriment, consolation, even joy, is waiting to greet me when I open the cabinet door.
Tears. “I’m really sorry!”
Lies. “It’s okay. No big deal.”
Truth. “You are more important than a vase.”
Sacrifice. White lies. A reign on my tongue. Choosing reconciliation, healing, truth. Relationship over ensconced personal, pleasant, mementos of the past.
God. “...If anyone... does not hate ... his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.” 1.
1. Luke 14:26
gratefulsue 7/15/15 (C) 2015 gratefulsue (for Amarie) # 13 Love Disappointed
Disappointments abound. Time spent together, not found. Pieces of heart, on the ground. Words unsaid have fallen, dead. Their place stands empty, instead. Regrets of lead.
Cynical thoughts to spare, from wish to silent prayer, answers are not there. Make it all right...stop the inner fight. End this constant night, with just a little light.
Would You explain why? Help me not cry? Heal my pained sigh? Couldn’t You change this? Restore bliss? Rewind time? Undo what’s mine?
What’s next, I can’t see. Could You surprise me? Perhaps, make peace be? If You do hear, could You please draw near? Satisfy my quest. Give my spirit rest.
Things can’t stay the same. I know why I came. You’re the sounding board, all I can afford. Still the waves that toss. Mend this endless loss. I will come away, accepting of a new day.
Bitter memories lie in shallow graves of pain. Gracious blossoms grow with fertile soil, and rain. Forever lost, my innocence. The past, like a fence. Chances to give, my recompense.
Get over this disaster. Leave failed expectations, faster. Heal by selfless love and laughter.
gratefulsue 1/4/13 revised 3/11/13 (C) 2015 gratefulsue Thoughts about an absent father. (My father was not absent.) # 12
Life happens…
Tired. Empty. Beaten. Broken. Pessimistic-- I have spoken.
Pure in heart, once was I. Cynical now, spiritually dry.
Prayerful. Pleading. Hope, so needing. In faith, walking, Blindfolded, bleeding.
gratefulsue 5/19/12 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 11
Nothing
Present mist. Creative nothing. Misplaced list. Lacking something.
Conflicts. Chores. Purpose? Vision? Mental wars. Drive? Ambition?
Not here, Not there, Not known. Not clear.
Fuzzy, Sleepy, Fuddled, Weepy.
gratefulsue 5/16/12 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 10
Enough Time (a song)
There was not enough time, To say “I love you.” Not enough time To be with you. There was not enough time, To feel your arm in mine.
That’s how love feels, That’s how it goes— When you love someone Your heart always knows. Time is never enough To let it end this way!
This world is fading, Passing by. Though it has some pleasures, I know that I Will be ready to go— Ready to be with you!
Then, there’ll be enough time… To say, “I love you.” Be enough time, Just to be with you. There will be enough time To feel your arm in mine.
gratefulsue 8/23/08 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 9
Good Grief
Don’t be alarmed that you are sad, or, have regrets.
I’m not surprised at your concern— you loved, I bet!
Those who lose but did not love, have not lost much.
Those who loved and have lost are by grief touched.
Better to love than not to know how joy grows!
gratefulsue Begun in 2008 Completed 1/21/12 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 8
You be you; I’ll be me.
a RIGHT to be free: to love, to dance and sing—
God has given me these. Don’t steal them, please.
a LIFE for living… investing, giving—
My brief TIME in the sun will soon be done.
You have these THREE, also yet different, and good—
Too much control Takes its toll.
What a challenge. My plea: you be YOU, not ME.
gratefulsue 8/27/05 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 7
Shame
“…Shall never be put to shame?” 1. Once I trust in Jesus’ name? In this world it is absurd— To claim that verse I heard!
Crucified! Burned alive! Saints long ago have not survived. Their honor stolen, hope snuffed out— As Satan’s henchmen strut about.
Laughed at, some disowned, Verbal floggings I have known, All the saints die all day long. “Sheep to slaughter”—right or wrong. 2.
But, one day, shame shall speak no more… When morning dawns on Heaven’s shore. I’ll see His face! Of scorn—there’s no trace. “Faithful servant,” “take thy honored place…” 3., 4.
1. Peter 2:6b, Psalm 34:5 2. Romans 8:36 3. Matt. 25:21 4. John 12:26 and Rev. 19:9
gratefulsue 7/18/04 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 6
Goodbye
“Goodbye” is a bitter word— So difficult to swallow. To say, “I’ll see you soon” Or, “Keep in touch” sounds hollow.
How can we tear apart two hearts Now melted into one? How can we make it through the day Without our favored one?
The cup of love I filled for you Must be spent on another. But, that’s all right, because you know, Jesus left His "dad" to love others.
gratefulsue 12/16/01 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 5
Losing Loved Ones
The loss of loved ones helps us see That time on earth goes fast. No time to store up “earthly treasures,” 1. Rather—those that last.
“Saved by grace through faith” alone 2. In Jesus: God the Son— The message we must tell the world, Before our time is done.
May God’s own Spirit and His Word Help you o’er times of grief, And give you courage to proclaim The words of life and peace.
1. Matthew 6:19-02 2. Ephesians 2:8-9
gratefulsue 9/2/98 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 4
One Hour at a Time
Too sleepy to get up And get dressed Too overwhelmed to Tackle this mess. Too sad about Estranged family And missing the ones Too far to go see. Too hard to get going Lord, my heart cries While little ones come With expectant eyes. Yes, I can handle One minute or two— One hour at a time— As I look to You.
gratefulsue 12/26/00 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 3
Wavering (a song)
I will trust in You, Lord. I will trust in You, Lord. Not because it is easy, but it’s right— Please forgive me for wavering tonight— I need Your light!
You are a God who is faithful and true, Caring and patient in all that you do. So, why won’t I simply rest easy in You? Steadfast allegiance is long overdue!
I will trust in You, Lord. I will trust in You, Lord. Not because it is easy, but it’s right— Please forgive me for wavering tonight— I need Your light!
gratefulsue 7/22/82 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 2
My Night-Watchman (a song)
If Jesus protects me by day, Shows me the way, Helps me to pray,
Then surely, He’s with me by night, Calming my fright, Holding me tight.
Jesus promised once I’m His, He will never leave me! 1.
His Word, so dear, says, “Love casts out fear.” 2.
So, heart—be still! Trust in His will.
1. Hebrews 13:5 2. 1 John 4:18
gratefulsue 10/10/79 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 1
Mood Escape
Two worlds exist all of the time Either can be a dwelling sublime. Yet one, far better to my tender heart— The world of imagination and art.
The place of stark reality Can often lead to melancholy. Hard work, illness, departures, arrivals— Mechanisms of survival.
Quietly, I plan my escape: Just find the music, the time, “Don’t be late!” Turn on the concert of mind’s desire— A mood, a wish, a soft chair by the fire.
gratefulsue 1/12/85 (C) 2015 gratefulsue |
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