# Title 8—The Days of 9.11 7—Trauma 6—Better Off Not Knowing 5—To Be Like Christ 4—About Face 3—Sharing in His Sufferings 2—Why Are We Surprised? 1—Final Perspective
# 8 The Days of 9.11
The day of 9.11 Secrecy. Deception. Violence. Destruction. Death. Chaos. Ruins. Innocence lost. Disbelief. Confusion. Trauma. Desperately needing a friend.
The day after 9.11 Fears confirmed. Shocked. Caught off-guard. Wind knocked out of your lungs. Rug pulled out from under you. Tears. Pain. Agony. Heartbroken. Redefining family. Re-evaluating history. Re-envisioning future, With open, jagged wounds.
Haunting images. Beyond upset. Aching. Anger. Mental screaming. Hatred of sin and evil. Compassion for the victims. Shaken up lives. Shattered trust. Emotional devastation. In vain, comfort from a friend.
Questions. No good answers. More questions. Difficult, painstaking, Cleanup begins at the crash site.
The week after 9.11 Mourning. Speechless. Crestfallen. Still. Numb. Alone. Wanting to stay alone. Withdrawing. Hiding. Humiliated. Helpless.
(Where was God? Why didn’t He restrain sin? He let it run its course. He knew, He watched.)
Disappointment. Fractured faith. Confiding in a friend.
The month after 9.11 It wasn’t your fault. You were innocent. You didn’t know. You were a victim.
It was partly my fault. I didn’t love you enough, Those precious years, When I had the chance. I’m so very sorry.
Entirely his fault. He didn’t love you at all, Or, the God of love. Spiritually blind. His “truth” was a lie. Complicit puppet. Unexpected adversary. Inexcusable assailant. Betrayer. Saboteur. Terrorist. Thief. Seeds of bitterness. Avoiding a friend.
Six months after 9.11 Asking for peace. Hoping for strength. Emotionally exhausted. Craving sleep. Unable to sleep. Tortured sleep. “Escape the pain” sleep. “Not wanting to wake up” sleep. Working, working, working, On forgiving. Living. Listening to a friend.
Slow to heal. Waiting for a better day. Searching for hope, “...Beauty from ashes.” 1. And, waiting some more.
The year after 9.11 Less pain. New routines. Reluctant acceptance. Some pleasant days. More authentic smiles. Receiving kindnesses. Enjoying a friend.
The dawn of surprise... Noticing God. I see Him again! (He was also waiting... He never left.) He is patient. Good. Generous. Tender. Trustworthy?
Two years after 9.11 Yes... trustworthy. Evidence of healing, Feeling alive again. Practicing gratitude. Really laughing. Being a friend.
Rebuilding (informed) faith. 2. Re-writing the future... with hope.
1. Isaiah 61:3 2. Hebrews 11:36 – 12:3
gratefulsue 9.13.16 © 2017 gratefulsue
(Besides the overt reference to the terrorist attacks in the U.S. on 9.11.2001, “The Days of 9.11” can also represent any personal catastrophe, abuse, or trauma, and how one might process it over time.) # 7 Trauma
Mind videos and audios, are stuck on “instant replay.” Like a “broken record,” they continue night and day.
Exhausting thoughts, ferocious fears; raw feelings barge right in— at any moment, without welcome, relentlessly, they begin.
Depression enters, falls, and feels like a blanket, wet and heavy. Endless details overwhelm, and drown me without pity.
My mind becomes a second foe, besides the trauma’s furry. A battleground for fractured faith, hard questions, doubts and worry.
Flood my mind, sweet Holy Spirit, with waves of boundless grace! Tender mercies, love, forgiveness. May peace, nightmares replace!
And send away my vain complaints from broken circumstances. Help me know and ever trust, the ‘morrow brings second chances.
Come, thankful thoughts, and new beginnings! Come, sincere songs of praise! Bring calm release, and acceptance of my Lord’s unexplained ways. 1.
1. Isaiah 55:9
gratefulsue 3.13.15 (C) 2015 gratefulsue (For Christi, whose brand new house burned to the ground two weeks after moving in.) # 6
Better Off Not Knowing
Better off not knowing that earthquakes topple a city, Bury young and old, and make orphans, without pity.
Better off not knowing of tornados armed with power, floods which overwhelm and devastate in their dark hour.
Better off not knowing that tsunamis kill and maul, or, that poverty and hunger paint a picture I appall.
Better off not knowing that mass murderers exist, that crazies prey on innocents, and slavery persists.
Better off not knowing of the youth who takes his life, of the abuser, or drug user, or, of the abandoned wife.
Better off not knowing that the world is harsh and cruel. “Nowhere on earth is safe,” seems the only steadfast rule.
Better off not knowing that pain festers deep within. When no one else is watching, unchecked bitterness begins.
Alas, too late to hide. I do know what I deplore. Each day brings news of sorrow, sin and ruin—more and more.
The knowing is my anguish. I, unanswered questions, ponder— the meaning of such pain, for all who witness, grieve, and wonder.
There isn’t ample time, nor all the money needed, to fix this broken world— huge needs by which I’m greeted.
The glass “half-empty” shouts, “Life’s a miserable existence!” Emotions bow and whimper at reality’s insistence.
The glass “half-full” remembers— there IS good despite the raw. There IS hope and new beginnings, sublime beauty without flaw.
There ARE ways I can re-focus. There IS sun, not just the rain. There ARE talents I can offer. There ARE smiles that lessen pain.
There IS a God of loving-kindness. There ARE those who sacrifice. There IS a Savior without equal— and for me, that should suffice.
Better off not knowing? Of this lament, I must beware. As my Jesus loves through me, I CAN pray and give and share.
gratefulsue 4/15/13 (C) 2015 gratefulsue (Reflections after the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, 12.13.12.) # 5
To Be Like Christ
Suffering is just part of life. Not some surprise In-your-back knife.
Suffering keeps ego at bay. At times, it heals Or, opens a way.
Suffering comes to one and all— To parents and children, Great and small.
Suffering shows me Satan’s schemes: To lie, to kill, To steal my dreams. 1.
Suffering makes me seek from above— God’s power, presence, Wisdom, love. 2.
Sufferers know, He has overcome! The battle is over, And, Jesus won! 3.
Look past the feelings of pain and woe. To be like Christ, Sufferings must show. 4. 1. John 10:10 2. James 1:2-5 3. John 16:33 4. Romans 8:17 gratefulsue 7/16/99 (C) 2015 gratefulsue
# 4
About Face
Why did this happen? I don’t understand. I was headed the direction I thought You had planned!
Now suddenly here I must turn “about face”— Leave my heart behind While continuing the race.
I have “lost my life” For your sake, I know. 1. Take me to the place Where Your life in me shows.
Though Your will seems hard— Though “sight” cannot see— “Faith” trusts the One 2. Who loves and died for me. 1. Matthew 10:39 2. 2 Corinthians 5:7 gratefulsue 4/9/96 (C) 2015 gratefulsue (For a friend dealing with the pain of miscarriage.) # 3
Sharing In His Sufferings
Does Jesus want my happiness Above all else on earth? Does His love for me insure A life of peace and mirth?
“Not so.” His Word speaks to my heart— No promises of ease. Yes, His love is strong and thick— But not, “just as you please.”
I oft forget that suffering is A promise in the Holy Book— Passed down from Jesus and the Apostles When the path of “disciple” I took.
Persecutions, difficulties, Make my faith more pure. Death to self, to life and all, His mandate—to be sure.
Are feelings hurt or spirits crushed? Or loved ones sore abused? My Lord does see and feel my pain. I know He’s not amused.
But, He will let me bear that cross, Yet, offering His grace. While in this world I have the chance To taste the tears on his face.
gratefulsue 12/4/95 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 2
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. " 1 Peter 4:12
Why Are We Surprised?
Why are we surprised when the world is harsh and cruel— When the ending isn’t “happy” and we feel like we’ve been fooled?
Disappointments, heartaches disasters and the like, Are Satan’s signature… every time he strikes.
Only Heaven has no heartaches, our true home alone can be A place where cruel surprises are but faded memories.
Meanwhile, we must suffer as did Jesus Christ, our Lord, And know the “crown of life” awaits 1. where “treasures in Heav’n” are stored. 2.
1. James 1:12 2. Matthew 6:20
gratefulsue 1/18/94 (C) 2015 gratefulsue # 1
Final Perspective
Times of suffering times of pain Bring their horror to every name.
Come with hatred come with scorn Hope despairs and love mourns.
Who can help, deliver, free? Man may not, but our God sees!
Counts He all the loss and tears Remembers He the injustice, fears.
Our God knows and judges wrong. Lift up your heads, oh, sing His song.
Yes, sing! Rejoice! The judgment is nigh When each will account for his life, he and I.
The oppressor, warlord, murderer, thief, He too will give account and at last, know grief.
gratefulsue 8/11/93 (C) 2015 gratefulsue |
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